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Hi there Chinning enthusiasts ! James Pannell here with a guest column all about the origins of the great sport that is chinning . After years at the top of the game I have been heralded as one of the all time great blockers and as such , my good friends Sam Booth and David Conner have asked me to detail in full the magical heritage that Chinning is host to . So , here goes your first installment
Many believe that Chinning had its first incarnation when a powerful texan land owner , known locally as Cattlebuyer , decided to host a festival dedicated to possum fat in order to promote his latest line of foreign animal grease products . It has been claimed that two of the festival's most popular stands ( the possum fat melting demonstration and the betting on the probabillity of Cattlebuyer's favourite possum being called Frealbead stand) were situated dangerously close to the bank of Lake Gerty (of which I will mention at a later date) . As a consequence , local shaving product model Oip Schafflueghallen who was rowing nearby became enticed by the aroma of melting possum fat and went off course . He crashed into the lake's bank and as a result , flew into the fat melting stand whilst still clinging to his oars . The melting fat greased his semi-naked body as he carried on flying towards the Frealbead probabillity stand . It is believed that he glided across the table of this stand and his weighty chin made a resonant contact with one of the cubic betting di(ce). The shrewd Texan onlookers instantly saw the potential of combining grease, Oars and chins and the sport was born (supposedly) However, this So called Account of Chinning's origins is just a vicious rumour spawned by Cattlebuyer in an attempt to pass off his less than lucrative Possum Fat line as the original and consequently best Chinning grease around . The real story starts with my childhood hero Chinford schmistee . He grew up in the heart of the L.A. body building scene near muscle beach . He was enchanted by the unterstated showmanship that these bronzed , muscle bound God's conveyed and noticed that the best of them posessed a disproportionally large chin . Chinford shared this asset but had previously been taunted by his jealous schoolfellows about it . At the age of 13 he decided to take up body building in order to turn his bountiful lower mouth border into a positive attribute . Next time I'll speak explicitly about the frankly crazy way in which Chinford evolved the sport we know and love from these unlikely origins and in doing so will explain why he deserves the title "Godfather of Chinning and all round chin ambassador" Until then much love James Pannell
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Me, in, the College years. 1983
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Romford Jaw Gerbils, Championed over the Brazilian Thug Jaws in 1997
(Left to Right): David Conner (Rear Chinner), James Pannell (Blocker Chinner), Sam Booth (Forward Chinner), Hudfree McSkwow (Referee and Galavant) |
THE SQUAD!!
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